Crumpled dreams - 11

and her page said:

Slow Dance in a No Name Town

A small dark motel with a curving bar
branded by fallen cigarette butts
carved with misshaped hearts
and crazy initials.

Old smoke condensed on window panes
sadly in need of a washing or two
bits of peanut shells ground into
the gaps of the floorboards.

What an unlikely place to fall in love.

The drive had been long

down winding dusty roads

bordered by swaying field on unknown crops

ending at this leaning porch motel which

blared melodies that we knew.

What an unlikely place to fall in love.

Time went on, song after song

the heat descended and the crowd grew dense

thunder rolled in, the doors both front and side were flung open

the songs disappeared amongst the chatter and only now and then

did we catch a familiar word.

What an unlikely place to fall in love.

Sitting alone, getting deep in my chair 

rain splattering on gravel outside

couples seeking refuge 

racing from the peeling picnic tables outside.

Silence.

A voice I recognize starts falteringly

gaining confidence with the encouragement of the crowd.

I turn in my comfortable chair

that's when I found my unlikely love. 

For the rest of The Little Story, read here.

 

Turning Back the Pages of Time - 10

If you’ve ever been in a situation where someone so distantly from your past emerges into your present, you will understand the shock that she felt as she approached Oliver.

Quick as her brain could go, her mind picked up the buried scent of wet, as she reached him. It had been a day of pouring rain when they had sat down over a hot chocolate in the Student Centre all those years ago. He had been wearing a heavy (wet) knit sweater, similar to a style that she had seen recently again on some young people. Everything old is new again.

As he stood, they embraced with the familiarity of a time when your friends were your family as you grew into adulthood. Ironically, they had lived in oblivion of personal pain and family struggles. Only many years later had she heard through the grapevine called Internet that Oliver’s father had died, estranged from his family and a

Courtesy on the C-train

Getting on the train downtown, my attention was drawn to a well dressed young man. "He's at peace", I thought, as we both boarded the south-bound train. He carried a small Harry Rosen bag, big enough for a tie and a pair of socks, maybe.

I got a seat and he ended up standing close by as we made our way home. A seat opened up next to where he was standing and this young man did something I haven't seen in a long time. He offered the empty seat to one woman (who refused) and then turned to another to make the same offer (she also refused). Then finally, he sat. Even his brown shoes were polished.

A few stops down, a very pregnant woman entered the train. Again he offered his seat, and again it was refused.

Don't give up young man. Your kind and generous offers were duly noted. Your Mama would be so proud!

(Your striped socks were very cool too!)

Thank you for warming my day.

Perfection isn't Pretty

Perfection is hard work, hard dirty work. There are certain things that we all consider valuable enough that we always want to give it our best shot. Some will shine their bikes, like they’ve never seen a splatter of mud. The horsepower doesn’t change, the accessories don’t change, but gosh they are just prettier when they are shiny! I’ve been known to polish up my stainless steel appliances until there is not a single fingerprint anywhere. Well, we all know that only lasts a moment.

In a recent article, statistics said that women will only apply for a position if they feel that they have all the qualifications. Men on the other hand, feel that they only need to have 60% of the requirements*. In this day of fluid characteristics, I am well aware that not all men or women are this way. But let’s just say that no amount of body fat has prevented some people from parading around in their shorts…and admiring themselves in front of a mirror.

Holding up Perfection is a futile task. Where’s the fun? We are not perfect and neither are our partners, children, colleagues or pets. It is a difficult thing to constantly strive for the impossible and downright mean to expect it from those around us. There is a huge difference in expecting the best effort from someone and from setting the bar so unrealistically high that the one we're watching will give up in despair. “What’s the point?”, they ask,"he/she will never be happy with my result".

Let’s just choose ONE thing that we want to work on today, to be the best that we can be, and worry about the rest tomorrow. Maybe today, we could just work on that smile to a stranger. The mud, fingerprints, and messy teenage rooms can wait.

Surrender to the im-perfect and have fun!

Perfection in Canmore, AB.

* Dr. Ann Daly, former Associate Professor @ University of Texas quoting a Hewlett-Packard study, citing from a McKinsey Quarterly.

Clouded Poetry - 9

Flashback. She and Oliver had been good friends back in college. They exchanged quips, reading material and scribbled poems for the other's scrutiny,

The person she was dating, whom she eventually married and was unhappy with for a long period of time, went to another school. One day she had enthusiastically pulled out her latest poem for Oliver to read. So many decades ago and the image of it still vibrated in her head. He read quickly as was his style, each word floating across his face.

When he was finished he took her hand from across the table in the student lounge and said the words that had echoed and bumped around in her head all these years. He told her that the object of her affection was a rat!

Mr. Charming had been spotted on more than one occasion with another specific girl.

She had often wondered through the long painful years of the marriage and even since its end, how things could have been different if she had heeded Oliver's words.

Waiting for Better

This is for you. 

Letting time pass to set a history is a good thing. Invariably the good people will stay good, and those that are not will also be revealed. But waiting and waiting can be just an avoidance that creates deeper pain. We say we want to be happy but remain in situations that we know prevent us from being so? It is honorable to give someone the benefit of the doubt, no one wants to be judged by one single act. However, we are sometimes so stuck, so paralyzed by our fear of the unknown that we cannot move out of a situation that does not honour ourselves.

We put up, and we shut up. 

Life has a way of teaching us the lessons we need. We will each get them to teach us in the way that matters most, the inconsiderate "friend", a (lack of a better term) crazy partner, an idiot boss. What will we let that person get away with? Why do we let them do what they do? The nonsense this person hands out will keep escalating until even you can't ignore the volume. The cosmic 2 by 4 will finally stop you in your tracks.

Then one day, you will know with no doubt in your mind that you are “done”. It could be caused by something catastrophic or something small, but it will happen when you are ready and have the courage to move on.

Have faith, you will survive. You will no longer be able to deny the proof.

And on that day, you will love yourself a little more and not let it happen again. Don't lose yourself in the battle and until then be safe, be well.