Slow Man Walking Still

No longer a hood but a black and blue toque. Jacket, black and blue to match. The temperature, blinking on the corner as I waited for the light, was  -23 degrees. Oh, when will it be Spring?

I can't see any ear-buds, but I suspect they are there hidden under the scarf.

The walk is faster than it used to be, but still painfully slow.

Perhaps the girlfriend is gone.

Fear of the Dark

Do you remember the first time you were afraid? Of screwing up your face, pinching your nose and jumping feet first into the cold water? Of stepping foot to foot impatiently as each person was called and fearing that you would be the last one chosen for the team?

In how many ways are we fearful? And we are fearful of something, if we are honest, regardless of our size or stature or number of degrees after our name.

We are fearful of being late for curfew or not getting accepted at the college of our choice.

We are fearful of not living up to expectations, or not living down our past.

We are fearful of never getting out of a relationship, or not finding the right one.

Regardless of our adult size, we are all "little" inside...sometimes. We might be facing our first headstand, our first half-marathon, or a really important job interview.

And yes, let's admit it "We are afraid!". But let's also use that fear towards our first courageous step in a new direction.

Before I take my first dip into the deep end (after an absence of several years), I will do something to be better prepared, to change my perspective.

Today, I will go buy a new pair of swim goggles.

Hearts Day

May the love you receive today comfort you when you need it, be gentle when you need a hug, be firm when you need a push.
May it give you coffee in the middle of the afternoon, and a foot rub at the end of the day.
May the love you receive today make you feel special every moment and know that there is a port in any storm.
May it be the love that you deserve and sometimes forget to give yourself.
Enjoy your today.

Stranger no more

How close are we, that I don't know you're handwriting?
A relationship cultivated by email, texts and long distance Skype
Send me a hand-written note please, so
I can see the curl of your "L".
Does your "G" cross the line or sit upright?
Does the last letter of your name
trail off into nothingness?

I want to know.

Ollie (Oliver) - 6

He had a small tick that was exacerbated by fatigue and stress (which ever came first). His badly made toupé askew on the top of his head and though it had the potential of making him look like a crazy person, it did nothing of the sort. No one could look at him without finding him endearing.

Ollie ran down the stairs and dropped his message under Grace's door. He hadn't seen her in days and that threw him off course. He looked forward to Thursday nights, when they often met for coffee, decaffeinated for her, and the usual for him because he'd never been one prone to sleepless nights.

Tonight however, he was going to see his son's new showing at the gallery downtown. He hadn't seen his son since January 1st, and it was time to see what Merrick was up to these days.

No one could look at him without finding him endearing. (Click to Tweet)

For the rest of The Little Story, read here.  

My heart was stolen

In my work day, many people come in and out of my office space. Sometimes, people comment on one of my plants, the photograph of my family members or the open space. In the give and take of my seven hours, I am rarely surprised. People come in all varieties and are all unique and have their special needs. They range from the fully engaged and the fringe, the curious and the indifferent.

Today, someone noticed a small cast iron frog that I have on my table. My prosperity frog, I laughed. She said that she collected frogs, and asked if she could have it! Now that surprised me. To say that I was shocked was a bit of an understatement. Because, truly, I had only just known this person for 10 minutes. We were far from friends! Perhaps she misunderstood my shock for hesitation, so she asked again.

As I gathered my wits, I noticed that the small magnetic heart that always sat jauntily on top of the frog was gone…so I said so. She continued smiling.

And that is how I lost my heart this morning. She apparently needed a “kiss” from a frog.

Opportunities - to be Good or Not

In Marina Endicott's "Good To a Fault", you are instantly thrown into a situation to make a decision. Will I like this character, her seemingly mundane life and the mess she finds herself in?

I encourage you to continue reading and to enjoy the beauty of the "everyday". Characters so filled with flaws that they are utterly human, no pretense, no false attempt at perfection, just like you and me.

Endicott's pages are filled with the undercurrent belief that we will all discover that "The window of time when you could do anything was so brief". Clara, the main character makes her decision and from that point the story writes itself, beautifully, with laughter and with intense pain.

It is a book so human, because the Universe dictates that "Fear is always with us; that we are not good enough or strong enough, and so will fail; that we will be hurt. Fear that what we love will be taken from us. Fear of dying, even fear of God, or of no God."

Slow Man Walking

For several months now, my path has crossed a stranger every morning while I wait at the top of the hill to turn left. He has been dressed head-to-toe in black and slowly crosses the 4 lanes of traffic. I wish I could say that I am patient, but his crossing is annoyingly slow and sauntering. I am not my best when I see him take his time, oblivious to the traffic held up and waiting for him to cross safely.

His black hood covers most of his face, his black almost ankle length coat (surely not the easiest to walk in), and the black gloves and black backpack have made him difficult to see in the headlights. Oh, did I say slow? His ear buds (slowly) bounce as he crosses the four lanes. At times I’ve wondered if he is listening to meditative music, if he is recovering from an illness, if he just doesn’t want to get there. He appears to be healthy, no recognizable debilitating limp, no neck brace that limits movement. I try to be patient, but most often my inner voice is screaming “get a move on fella, get a move on fella…” and stronger variations of this depending on the urgency of my schedule.

This morning, slow annoying man had removed his hood, had on a short walking jacket and actually walked fast! He was bald. What caused the change? Faster music, improved health, a new job, a new girlfriend, new medication? I will never know. He is just part of the story.

Let’s see if his speed continues tomorrow.